Author and influencer Sandra Lena Silverman, who recently released the memoir From Bullshit to Botox: A Rebel’s Guide to Self Care and Eternal Youth, has plenty to say about her personal quest to look youthful.

“I’ve tried it all,” Silverman, 53, tells PEOPLE with a laugh about why she wanted to write her book, admitting that she’s spent upwards of $300,000 on the procedures.

“I’ve done so many procedures and treatments that I started becoming a go-to person for my friends and their friends who were getting work done,” she continues.

“Then I thought, ‘You know what? Why don’t I just write a book about it?’ Because I am open about it, and I don’t want to hide anything. And that way I could interview experts to talk about what each procedure really entails so they don’t seem as scary, and give my opinion on what’s worth it and what’s not.”

One thing she wants readers to understand is that she doesn’t have terrible self-esteem or a plastic surgery addiction. At least, not anymore.

“When I did start with my breast augmentation in my late 20s, I had confidence issues,” says Silverman, a mom of two who is going through a divorce. “But I put in the inner work, and over time, I realized, ‘I’m going to do these things for me and no one else,’” she says.

“That’s why I talk about self-love in the book. These procedures should just be for you, and if something works for you, great. I’ve had a few women say, ‘I was ashamed of wanting to get certain things done, and now that I’ve done it, I feel good about myself.’ That’s the goal — to feel good about yourself, and not care what anyone else thinks.”

Below, Silverman, who has had everything from vaginal reconstruction to a mini facelift says which ones she feels are worth it — and which ones she thinks you should save your money on.

The Mini Facelift Was ‘Worth It’

Among women in my age group, many are still really secretive when it comes to getting facelifts, but I needed one after a filler treatment went wrong and left me with really sagging skin. I loved mine. I was 47, and went to Dr. Jacono in New York. He won’t touch the bottom of your face without also touching the top, so I had a mini facelift and a temporal lobe [forehead] lift at the same time. He does that so it’s symmetrical and you don’t have permanent lines around your eyes. It’s probably my favorite surgery because all of the issues that I had in the past with the sagging skin that I was trying to repair by using the fillers or face threads was finally fixed. I personally didn’t find recovery to be bad, but you will be working from home for two weeks.

Avoid Filler in Your 20s and 30s

So many young girls get filler in their face and lips these days without understanding that it causes the skin to stretch. Anything that removes fat or stretches out skin is not good for when you age. Try to stay away from filler in your face when you’re in your 20s and 30s, and whatever you do do NOT get your buccal fat removed. You actually need it as you age, and will have to replace it with filler. And remember with filler, you’re changing the shape of your face and lips, so make sure that’s what you’re willing to do.

Don’t Do the ‘Y’ Lift

I will always regret my experience with the Y lift, which is basically a sculpting lift using filler. The first time I did it was great — I got filler in the perimenter of my jowls, which was lifting and made me look more sculpted. But the second time I did it, I got pie-faced, and by that I mean there was so much filler in my cheeks that I looked completely round, like a pie. It caused my skin to stretch and then sag, and it took about two years to fully fix it because the filler goes deep inside the muscle. By the time I got my facelift two years later, I still had filler in there.

Do Your Research Before Rhinoplasty and Breast Augmentation

I wish I’d done more before I had my nose done, but it was before the Internet, and I was young and didn’t go to the best doctor. He took out too much cartilage, and if they do that and you’re not happy with the results, then they have to take cartilage from your rib or behind your ear to fix it, which is painful. Make sure you look at many before/after photos before committing. The same goes for your breasts — for my first breast augmentation on my late 20s, the profile was too high and the medium was too large, so I actually ended up looking top-heavy. I eventually got saline implants replaced with silicone and did a breast lift and went smaller and lower. Be cautious about going too big or too high.

Peels Will Make You Look Crazy Afterward

I’ve done a number of peels — C02 laser and a TCA peel that I was under twilight anesthesia for. That was pretty strong, and you do look like a burn victim afterward, so need to plan accordingly. Recovery is at least a week. Also, you can’t get too many of them because your skin can get very, very thin if you have too many peels.

Lashes, Microblading and Permanent Makeup Are Worth It

I love eyelash extensions, and microblading on the eyebrows. One thing I also do and love is eye shadowing, which is a permanent line on the eyelid through tattooing. I also had it done on my lip outline, which is just a little lip enhancement — you can wake up and feel like you’re already ready to go and not have to wear a lot of makeup. But admittedly, it doesn’t feel great. You’re numb, but you’re still getting a tattoo. But you HAVE to go to somebody good for eye and lip shadowing, otherwise you run the risk of coming out looking like a clown.

Don’t Do Liposuction on the Knees

I would never recommend anyone do it, because you need the fat around your knees. When I removed all the fat in my knees, I was left with so much sagging skin that I needed to use filler and then do threading to pull the skin up. So I actually caused more damage by removing the fact when I could have just eaten more protein and done more lunges at the gym. Don’t touch your knees.

A Mini Tummy Tuck Yields Great Results

l got liposuction on my stomach and it left me with so much loose skin, so I had to have that tightened. I loved it. Now I have more of an hourglass shape than I had before. But that was a six-hour procedure, and I did have drains for nine days. I was still able to go about my day — I just wore a giant maxi dress until I was able to get the drains removed. I don’t regret this one.

Vaginal Reconstruction Was the Most Painful

I would argue that my full vaginal reconstruction wasn’t cosmetic because my uterus was falling low after the birth of my son, so I actually needed it, but it was the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through. I was in a full body bandage for three weeks with a catheter. I also had labial surgery at the same time, and that wasn’t a big deal at all — it’s just extra skin, so if you don’t like it, it’s OK to have it cut off. I can’t fully tell you if that was painful, because I was in so much pain on the inside from vaginal reconstruction. If you don’t need it, don’t do it.